She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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