Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Randomize
