I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
