just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
