And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
