Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
