He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
