Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize