What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
