Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
