from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
