I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it hurts more in the daytime
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
