Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
