Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
birth control should be required to get into college
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
