i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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