why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
