id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
