Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
