I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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