I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
