I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize