Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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