I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
