so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize