the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
