:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
