Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
