if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
