I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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