so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
