you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
