guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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