and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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