strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
