Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
