ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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