I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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