His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
