ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize