Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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