I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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