I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i think my cat just said my name.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
