:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
