Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the liver wants what the liver wants
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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