i barfeds in our rink
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
