I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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