I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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