i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
