I think scott just propositioned me for sex
love makes seman taste better
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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