Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
