i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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