The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
