Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
