someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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