Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
