im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
