thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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