Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just forgot I was standing up.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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