....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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