fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
