i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
