if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
