I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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