help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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