White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
