Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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