if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
