he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
