I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
