Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
