Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
