It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize