I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize