New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
