dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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