So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
