i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
