using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
