so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You took a bar mat shot.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
