69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
