is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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