I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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