she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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