Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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